Dating

by Steve Malone (former RUF campus minister)

The problem with dating is not dating. The problem is lack of character and lack of contentment. Because people are not finding wholeness in Christ, and because He isn't "enough" for them, they are looking to some person to fill in the hole. Relationships, even marriage relationships, are idolatrous because we expect another to fulfill us. That's why our expectations in relationships get in the way. We want more from a person than God meant them to give. And people who walk with God are supposed to live lives characterized by the fruit of the Spirit- Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Gentleness, and SELF-CONTROL! (Did I miss one?) Aren't relationships going to be a lot safer if guided by these traits, where we consider others as more important that ourselves? Men should not only rule their passions (that "Ape that jumps up and down inside of them"), but also take care in defrauding women emotionally ("It was more than just words that got spoken, the was language of the heart") Women need to learn to not open their hearts to the first man that will listen and talk to them. And neither should be swayed by appearance over character. Bad relationships are bad. Bad marriages are Hell.

If a man of character, who demonstrates that He loves Christ above all, wants to date my daughter, I'm buying! (I'm storing up many camels!!!) But if a man demonstrates that he doesn't live a godly life, he can read all the dating books he wants, he can be committed to courtship, but he ain't getting my girls (unless he can get past my 12 gauge). A man who dates with character, will probably marry with character. A man who courts without character, is going to be a lousy, unreliable husband. A woman who is discontent in Jesus now, will be a discontent, and miserable wife.

The problem with dating is not dating. It's a gospel problem.